How far along: 37 weeks
Weight gain/loss: Gained 4lb finally!

Maternity clothes: Favorite thing right now are my pregnancy leggings and yoga pants. I'm finding that most of my shirts are too short, and showing my belly now!!

Stretch marks: No new ones! But I can see the old ones more. Using BioOil to help minimize any new ones.

Sleep: Sleep is difficult. Get up to pee every few hours. I love my body pillow. Some days I toss and turn working to get my belly comfy. Can't sleep on my left side because of the cracked rib.

Best moment this week: Seeing baby moving. Baby is now measuring 8lbs 13oz, measuring due 12/24. That is definitely ahead of schedule!!

Food cravings: Beer

Gender: Its a BOY!!

Belly button in or out? Innie!! Although it seems to be getting a little flat.

Movement: Feeling lots and lots of movement. We can see him moving now. :) I think he is practicing karate! Rob and Ty both love to watch baby moving.

What I miss: Beer! LOL It just sounds so good!

What I'm looking forward to: Meeting our little guy! He needs to hurry himself out!Milestones: Officially full term!

Next appointment: December 29th - NST

My feelings this week: I am over anxious! I want to have our baby boy out. I am so uncomfortable. Baby is so big, I am concerned about carrying him much longer. It has actually become painful to carry him around, especially with my cracked rib. Dr told me yesterday that she still thinks that I can deliver vaginally, but with such a big boy, I am worried. She also doesn't see a need to induce because of the size. She wants to wait at least another 2 weeks before considering induction. So, we are going to try everything in our own powers to get things moving. Spicy food, lots of walking, sex... Started walking 2 miles today, and my body now hurts, my legs, my back, my ribs. I know it is best to keep baby in a couple more weeks, but I just hurt. Hoping that next week, things get moving. I am so tired, all I want is to sleep.

What a crazy day!

A few weeks ago, I came down with a cold and cough. After dealing with it for a few days, I went to my OB, I didn't want it to turn into Bronchitis or Pneumonia (which I seem to be suseptible to). They gave me something to help with the cough, and congestion, but no antibiotics because they didn't hear anything in my lungs.


Well about a week ago, the ribs on my left side started hurting. I figured since I was still coughing, that my ribs were bruised. I was just going to wait it out.


Then this morning, I coughed and heard a POP in my ribs. It took my breath away! I couldn't call Rob (he was still sleeping), I couldn't say or do anything for several minutes. I decided to take a hot shower, and see if I could make it feel better. But the shower did nothing. So I called Labor and Delivery, and they said to come in and get myself checked out. I went in, they hooked me up to the monitor, and Baby boy had a lower heartbeat but seemed consistent. He wasn't moving much, so they made me drink lots of fluids to try to get him moving. My bloodpressure was perfect. When the doctor came in, she asked what happened, so I explained it all to her. She started touching my ribs, and when she got to the tender part, I cried out. She automatically thought that I may have broken a rib. So they sent me down to radiology for an xray.


The doctor came back and said that my lungs were clear, but that it looked like I may have cracked my rib when I coughed. It really killed me. She told me that aside from painkillers, there wasn't much they could do. She also said that if the rib doesn't begin to heal itself quickly, I probably wouldn't be able to have a natural delivery because I wouldn't be able to breathe through it, or push him out. If I go into labor, there is a good chance that I will have to have a c-section. Which I am not looking forward to, but whatever is best for baby boy!


She gave me an antibiotic to clear up any bacteria that could be left in my system, a cough suppressant to help me not cough relieving the pain in my ribs some, and a pain killer which seems to be taking the edge off.


All because I coughed too hard. What a crazy day!!

How far along: 33 weeks

Weight gain/loss: Lost 1 lb this month
Maternity clothes: Favorite thing right now are my pregnancy leggings and yoga pants.
Stretch marks: No new ones! But I can see the old ones more. Using BioOil to help minimize any new ones.
Sleep: Sleep is difficult. Get up to pee every few hours. I love my body pillow. Some days I toss and turn working to get my belly comfy.
Best moment this week: Seeing baby moving. NST shows all is well for another week.
Food cravings: Chocolate and Coke! Cereal! Basically anything sugary.
Gender: Its a BOY!!
Belly button in or out? Innie!! Although it seems to be getting a little flat.
Movement: Feeling lots and lots of movement. We can see him moving now. :) I think he is practicing karate!
What I miss: Beer! LOL It just sounds so good!
What I'm looking forward to: Meeting our little guy!
Milestones: A milestone noted by baby center - testicles should be dropping this week.
Next appointment: December 14th -OB, December 8th - NST
My feelings this week: I can hardly believe it is December! I can officially say that our baby will be here next month! Can you believe it? This month is going to go so quickly with Christmas (planning, vacation, appointments, parties, shopping). Before you know it, it is going to be New Years!! It is going to fast. All three of the triplets mom have delivered their babies. And a singleton is in the hospital waiting...makes our baby seem so close.

How far along: 28 weeks, 4 days

Weight gain/loss: 1 lb this month

Maternity clothes: Only wearing maternity clothes at this point. Favorite thing right now is my pregnancy skinny jeans and yoga pants.

Stretch marks: No new ones! But I can see the old ones more. Using BioOil to help minimize any new ones.

Sleep: Sleep has been better. Get up to pee every few hours. I love my body pillow. Some days I toss and turn working to get my belly comfy. My left side hurts to sleep on, feels like baby is pulling.

Best moment this week: Seeing baby moving and u/s pictures. Baby boy is 3.2 pounds. Also baby boy is measuring 2 weeks ahead!! I have always thought he would join our family early. My guess is still January 8th. U/S shows January 4th. OB officially says January 19th. :)

Food cravings: Chocolate and Coke! Donuts! Cereal! Basically anything sugary.

Gender: Its a BOY!!

Belly button in or out? Innie!!

Movement: Feeling lots and lots of movement. We can see him moving now. :)

What I miss: My husband! :'(

What I'm looking forward to: Baby shower in 2 weeks. And of course Rob coming home before Thanksgiving!!

Milestones: Seeing movement from the outside

Next appointment: November 18th -OB

My feelings this week: I am missing my husband but I am so glad that he is coming home soon. Also, I am a little anxious because a girl in my January Mommies group just had her babies (triplets). Just makes things seem so close. I can hardly wait to meet my little guy!

How far along: 24 weeks, 3 days
Weight gain/loss: 2 lbs this week, 19 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Only wearing maternity clothes at this point. Favorite thing right now is my pregnancy skinny jeans!

Stretch marks: No new ones! But I'm still expecting to see them. Using BioOil to help minimize any new ones.
Sleep: Sleep has been better. Get up to pee every few hours. I love my body pillow. Some days I toss and turn working to get my belly comfy.
Best moment this week: Ty feeling he brother move.
Food cravings: Not really craving anything this week.
Gender: Its a BOY!!
Belly button in or out? Innie!!
Movement: Feeling lots and lots of movement. Starting to feel it from the outside. :)
What I miss: My husband! :'(
What I'm looking forward to: Holiday season!
Milestones: Feeling movement from the outside

Next appointment: October 6th -OB

My feelings this week: I am missing my husband and am so sad that he isn't here to enjoy our baby time! Today is our 7 year anniversary!! It has never bothered me that he hasn't been home for an anniversary, he has a job to do. But this year, it is crushing me. I am sure it is due to the fact that I am extreemely hormonal and emotional. But I hurt!! I am jealous of my January mommas who have their husbands to share with. I just wake up crying because I feel so alone! It really sucks!! I know I chose this path in my life, but I can have moments of sadness! I am a crazy hormonal mess, but I am so proud of my husband!

22w0d

How far along: 22 weeks, 0 days

Weight gain/loss: 7 lbs this week, 17 lbs total

Maternity clothes: Mostly wearing maternity clothes at this point, very few things from my old wardrobe fits anymore. Favorite thing right now is my pregnancy skinny jeans!
Stretch marks: No new ones! But I'm still expecting to see them.

Sleep: Sleep has been better. Still hot, still pee every few hours. I love my body pillow.

Best moment this week: Feeling more and more movement.

Food cravings: Not really craving anything this week.

Gender: Its a BOY!!

Belly button in or out? Innie!!

Movement: Feeling lots and lots of movement. Still can't feel it from the outside though.

What I miss: This week its Beer.

What I'm looking forward to: Tyler feeling his brother moving. :)

Milestones: Movement
Next appointment: October 6th -OB

My feelings this week: I have found that much of my energy has returned. Thank goodness. I am starting to get more done. But I do still have moments of needing naps! :D I am missing my husband more and more, and sad that he isn't here to enjoy our baby time! My BFF had her baby last week, and meeting him was emotional for me. It made me so excited about my sweet pea's arrival. Also, feeling quite sentimental because T is going to be 10 years old tomorrow!! Once upon a time I carried him in my belly, and now he is such a big boy, I am so proud of him!! I am a blessed woman!

Hard To Say GoodBye

Damn it! Whoever said that saying good bye to your deployed soldier gets easier over time, was obviously never an Army wife. I can hardly believe how quickly our two weeks went by. I enjoyed having Rob home so much!
In the two weeks Rob was home, we spent so much time together! We spent time with my family, time together in Hollywood, and away as a family at our timeshare. Time I needed with my dear husband. We even got to go on a little movie date!! Just the two of us.
I also wanted him to be involved in the pregnancy, so he pulled the cradle out of storage, cleaned it and fixed it up. We started our registry, which was so much fun!! And we talked about names, which is definitely a challenge. It is so hard to come up with great boy names. He is going to miss so much, birthing classes, shopping, decorating, feeling the baby move, doctors appointments. It is so hard on me to think about this.
This morning at 5:00am I drove Rob to the airport. I HATE the drive to the airport!! Pulling up to the drop off! Watching him pull out his bag. Knowing that I was going to have to say the words that hurt so much. He pulled me inot his arms, and kissed me. Hugged me. He said good bye. And me? All I could say was I LOVE YOU! My heart was aching. I immediately was in tears. I konw the hormones don't help, but it kills me to not have my best friend here with me! I just want to cry! My heart feels so heavy!!
I am proud to be an Army wife, but I hate sharing my heart!!

December can't come soon enough!! Hurry home and be safe!! <3

18w0d

How far along: 18 weeks, 0 days

Weight gain / loss: 0 pounds, 13 pounds total

Maternity clothes: Finally wore my maternity swimsuit! Love it, it is so comfy and actually flattering.

Stretch marks: Nothing new!

Sleep: Sleep has really sucked this week! I can't seem to get comfortable, even with extra pillows. Doesn't help that I get up 3x a night to pee. And hubby is snoring like crazy recently, so sleep has been tough.

Best moment this week: Found out the sex of our little sweet pea today!!

Food cravings: Fruit, veggies and cereal this week!

Gender: Surprised to find we are having a BOY!!

Belly button in or out: Innie

Movement: Still little movements usually on the left lower side of my belly.

What I miss: Still missing beer

What I'm looking forward to: Going to start registry while hubby is here.

Milestones: Baby can hear sounds this week!!

Next appointment: August 31 - 2nd trimester ultrasound, September 9 - OB

Feeling this week: As normal, I have been feeling so nervous about my sweet pea. We were on vacation, I didn't take my doppler, and because there wasn't much movement from the baby, I was a nervous wreck until we got home. As soon as we got home, I pulled out the doppler and smiled to hear my baby. We were so busy during vacation, that I probably just didn't notice the movement. It was so wonderful to see our little one moving around this morning. The tech was great, he took so many pictures of the baby. The tech said in one picture it looks like he is saluting his daddy, T replyed with "at ease soldier". In another it looked like the baby was clapping. He is very active. I'm so happy!! Now to sit with hubby and fight it out over the name. T is calling the baby Chase. We don't want the name Chase, but I told T that he can use Chase as a nickname because baby brother will probably be chasing him around for many years.

16w1d

Weekly Stats - Week 16

I am totally going to copy one of the blogs I follow, who copied someone else's blog, and post these weekly stats.

How far along: 16 weeks, 1 day
Weight gain/loss: 2 lbs this week, 13 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Mostly wearing maternity clothes at this point, very few things from my old wardrobe fits anymore. Bought a maternity swimsuit!!

Stretch marks: No new ones! But I'm expecting to see them, as I had them when I was pregnant with T.
Sleep: Sleep pretty well. I get so hot at night, I have to have the turbo fan on, I get up to pee about two or three times a night, and I have to use my body pillow to be comfortable on my side. Best moment this week: Feeling more and more movement, and hearing the heartbeating so loudly with my doppler.
Food cravings: Cereal, any kind, all day! And Ice cream!
Gender: We find out the sex on August 18th.
Belly button in or out? Innie!!
Movement: Feeling small flutterings from time to time.
What I miss: Beer and Coffee
What I'm looking forward to: Finding out the sex of our little sweet pea.
Milestones: Movement

Next appointment: August 9th - Genetic Counseling, August 10th -OB

13w2d

Well, I had my first appointment with the midwife on Wednesday. And as expected, they are transferring me to high risk. I'm ok with that. The appointment went well, my cervix is long and closed (I think thats what she said), my bp was a tiny bit high, the baby was very active, and heartrate was 158. I got to ask all of my questions...is sex ok? Is it ok to swim? Can I do yoga? She was so super nice!!
When I left, they scheduled my appointment with the HR Dr for the 10th. Rob will be home on the 5th, and leaves on the 20th. So he will be able to come with us. I also had to call radiology to schedule my 2nd semester u/s. They said to make sure it is within 18-22 weeks. Well, I will be 18 weeks on the 18th of August, so I called radiology, and asked if they could get me in right about that time so my husband could come too. I explained the situation, and told them he leaves on the 20th back to Kuwait, and this would be the only u/s he would get to see. She said she would talk to the radiologist and call me back. When she called me back, she told me the radiologist still wanted to do the u/s at the 20th week because you get the best measurements. Ok, I understand. Then she said, as a courtesy to my DH, if I came in on the 18th (I will be exactly 18 weeks), they would do an u/s just for him. They wouldn't be able to do the measurements, but they would look for the sex of the baby. I thought that was really cool that they were willing to do that just so he could be there!!! We'll bring Tyler with us. He will be so excited to learn if he is getting a brother or sister.
The midwife said that Rob and T need to get a whooping cough vaccine. I am going to have my Rob take T to get the shot. T hates shots! I don't know if I should tell him its coming, or not.
Oh, and they are having someone from Genetic counselling contact me for an appointment because I declined the amnio.
So, I am feeling more and more comfortable. I have a few more people to tell before I announce it to the world, but I am definitely feeling much better. It is becoming more and more obvious! I have had to go buy a few more pieces of clothing, and a swimsuit! I think some people just assume that I've put on weight. But a few are starting to get curious. Ts teacher asked another teacher, whom i happen to be good friends with, if I am pregnant. My friend told her, I don't know, you'll have to ask her. Right away the teacher said "OMG she is" LOL If you ask me, I'll tell you the truth. Pray that all goes well for the next 5 1/2 months. :D
Yesterday I went to Babies R Us to buy a gift for a baby shower. It has been 10 years since I've had to buy things for my baby. While I was shopping for the gift, I started reading boxes, and picking up different items. I got so overwhelmed! A girl in the store with her new baby was trying to give me advice. Thought I was going to have a little mini meltdown. I guess I should really start researching the different items out there. I did find a cute stroller if it is a girl!! I am starting from scratch. Except that I kept the cradle T slept in.
Well, I haven't suffered from morning sickness in about a week and a half, and all of the sudden yesterday, It seems to have come back. What the heck?? I dropped T off at school, when I was pulling into the driveway at home, I started feeling nauseous, I barely made it into the house. I thought I was past this. And today, I am pretty queasy. Crazy!! Other than that, I have been feeling pretty good.
I am enjoying the cooler weather, but I bought a swimsuit, because it is supposed to be super hot again next week. Actually I bought two, because I don't know which one I really like. They were both on sale, so for two suits I think I spent $30. I will probably take one back, we'll see. The heat really kills me.
The next month should go by pretty quickly. T has one more week of school, then he has camp from Aug 1-5, Rob comes home on the 5th, OB appointment on the 10th, u/s for Rob on the 18th, Rob leaves on the 20th, official u/s on the 31st. Plus add in birthday parties, Dr appointment for T, dates with my hubby and the month is pretty much planned!! :) So happy!

~ God, please continue to watch over my little sweet pea! ~

12w2d

12 weeks...I can breathe a sigh of relief that I have made it to the 12 week mark. At 12 weeks, your chance of miscarriage goes down to 1%...So why do I still feel so nervous?? Why do I feel the need to constantly check on my little one?

Will this worry ever go away?? Will I ever just be able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy? Maybe when I start to feel the baby move I will relax. That is what I hope for. So far the baby seems to be doing well. Right on track is what the doctor says. :)

My morning sickness seems to be going away, but now the heartburn is here! LOL I don't care about the side effects, they are all worth it. So, I say bring it on sweet baby. Just be healthy, and happy, and come to us safely in January! We love you!

10w3d

What an amazing moment in my life...

I am so excited to have made it to this point! My pregnancy has been good so far. I am extremely tired, sometimes nauseous, and from time to time achey. I am happy. Every moment of discomfort is worth my sweet pea!! I am 10 1/2 weeks, in a week and a half I will officially be in my second trimester. I know I will feel like a weight has been lifted.

A few people have questioned others about me. But no one has asked me directly if I'm pregnant. I am not hiding it, but I am not putting it out there either. I am waiting for my second trimester. Soon!!!! A girl I'm close to told me on Friday that I'm not going to be able to hide my belly much longer. Isn't that funny!! I love it!

Of course nothing is perfect. I am 100% nervous. Scared to death that something will still go wrong. Am I perfectly normal, overly cautious, or just a nut?? I have officially been released to an OB, and I am scared. Because I won't have that constant source of confirmation for my feelings. I have been considering buying a fetal doppler. Just so I can hear my sweet pea when I need that confirmation. Maybe this makes me crazy, or neurotic, I'm not sure. I think it makes me nervous and normal. The sound of that sweet little heart beating brings me such pleasure and peace.

I wasn't feeling this crazed until last night. Of course I've had my nervous moments, but until last night, it wasn't constant. I had dinner with friends, and broke the news to my girlfriend who lost her baby last month at 32 weeks. I wasn't sure how she would handle it, but she seemed fine. She was so happy, and excited. But later in the evening after many drinks (none for me), she kept on with how everything was her fault, and how everything can go wrong. I know her emotions weren't aimed for me, because she was so excited. But everything she said kept making me think of how my baby could just die. Everything single thing I do, I keep in mind how it could affect the baby. I am cautious!!

I feel great today. I love life. I love my son. I love my husband. I love my baby. God please watch over all!

8w4d

So, I gave up the infertility forum. I had to. I was getting too worked up and stressed about a bunch of things that may or may not happen. I was reading everything, and then focusing that feeling or thought on me and my baby. Plus reading about all the sad things that happen, made me sad.

I am now on my own. I share with my closest friends. I get the support I need from my closest friends. I get all the love and advice I need. I still get worried, and scared. But I'm not reading as much into things. I am trying to enjoy all of the (great and not-so-great) pregnancy moments I can.

I have recently been feeling so many crazy things. It is like riding the pregnancy roller coaster. I mean, how can a person feel so sick one day, so tired that I can't focus (and want to cry about it) the next, and then perfectly normal the following day?? Is that even possible?? I thought if you had symptoms, that they were there to stay. I didn't know it was a daily grab bag of symptoms. And most recently the heartburn has started. I am perfectly content with all of these things. It means my baby is growing. And I am so happy.

Last week, was my first run in with morning sickness. I was dropping T off at school, and while I was in the office signing in, my world started spinning. I wasn't 100% positive that I was going to throw up, but started heading towards the bathroom, just in case. I was moving people out of my way to get there. The ladies in the office were asking the other mom I was with...Is she ok? Whats wrong? Whats happening?? The other mom, Tx, knows that I am pregnant. She just laughed and said "Nothing". For the next hour, Tx and I were meeting, and I kept getting up to throw up. And every time I did, she laughed. Which of course made me laugh. It was pretty funny because I didn't experience this with T. Since then, I have had moments of almost throwing up. But nothing.

Tonight, I got home from my meeting, and noticed a tiny bit of pink on the paper after I went to the bathroom. Immediately I got nervous. I am going to call my RE tomorrow morning just to make sure everything is ok. My 2nd u/s is on Thursday, only 3 days away. I don't know if I feel comfortable waiting. I think I need to come in sooner. The pink could be from the suppository irritating my cervix, or it could be just a touch of NOTHING!! Whatever, I will feel better if I call.

~Please God keep my baby safe.

Ultrasound

What a crazy day!!

I had my u/s today, I was so scared this morning. I cried all the way to the RE's office. When I got there I went to the bathroom, composed myself, and waited my turn. When they called my name, I walked down the hall, and the REs were waiting for me. They said good morning and that I looked nervous, and I started crying all over again. I got on the table, and continued crying. RE gave me a hug, and worked to calm me (boy did he earn his money today). I had a vaginal ultrasound, and no sooner did he insert the magic wand, baby jumped out to have his/her picture taken. ha ha ha I was so happy. And then when he turned the sound on, I cried again. I must have cried until lunchtime!!! I was so happy!! RE gave me pictures and a DVD of the baby. Going to send the file to my DH!!

I emailed my DH, and told him about the baby, and that I got to hear its heart beating. When I got to work, (everyone knew about the IVF and positive test), I walked in asking..."who wants to see my baby"!! Everyone was so excited. I am scheduled for my next ultrasound on the 16th. If everything continues looking good, I will then be referred to the OB!! SCAREY!! After 7 years, its finally happened!!!

Now, when should I tell T? I know he is going to be excited. Do I tell him now? Do I wait 2 more weeks until I see the baby again?? Do I wait until I am past the first trimester?? I don't know. But, I am going to call my mom tonight and tell her that I am ! She is going to freak!!!!!!! LOL

I am so happy to finally have the first ultrasound over with. I was so scared and nervous!! But the baby seems to be doing good. Measuring 6w5d, and a heartrate of 128. I feel so relieved!!

~God is great~

7w0d

I am an emotional basket case...You can probably call me Sybil.
I am feeling every emotion available to man right now...

So, today I am 7w0d. So far I have been feeling pretty good. Tired is the most pronounced symptom of this pregnancy. Most of the other symptoms come and go, but nothing major. I have been taking care of myself. Doing my accupuncture still, and trying to be positive. I am good.

But...In exactly 15 1/2 hours, I will be sitting on the RE's table. While he is warming up his machines, preparing to look for a tiny heartbeat!!

I am so nervous, I keep asking what if...What if there is no heartbeat...what if there is no viable pregnancy...what if this has all been a figment of my imagination, and there is no baby? I am scared, and terrified. Worried. Nervous. I already know I will be crying when I get there. Thats how nervous I am.

But I am also excited to see that sweet little heart beating. The thought of that is so exciting, and joyous to me. And I pray that God gives me the opportunity to be so blessed.

I have been putting up my walls. I have put on my strong face that everyone is so proud of. But inside I am crumbling. I am weak and vulnerable. And with Rob gone, I don't have my rock, my strength. He knows how to calm me. I miss him and wish he could come with me. Hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be ok. Kiss me and see our baby for the first time. And then laugh and tell me how silly I am to be this worried!!!!

I know that everything happens for a reason. And I know that God will get me through.

~This life you have given us is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,
safe in the womb of flesh and hope, yet subject to danger and death.

O God of love, creator of life,hear our prayer.
We want this baby so much.

Please grant this child of ours a full term of nurture,
the joy and mystery of life,
and the blessing of your love.

Grant us the fulfillment of our dreams,
a baby to cherish and protect,
a child to teach and guide,
a blessing to our family.

Amen. ~

6w0d

WooHoo!! 6weeks!! I'm so happy to see you!

One more week, and I get to see my little sweet pea!

I have not done a great job of backing off of the IF forum, but I have stopped asking Dr. Google for advice. Advice that really only makes me more nervous, and makes me look up more questions! WTH?

But I do have questions...Can I color my hair? Can I start exercising yet? When is it safe to take a bath or swim? I know my RE can answer these questions, but he isn't available at 1am, when I wake up to pee, can't get back to sleep, and begin to wonder. Dr. Google is always in. (BTW...I really hope it is ok to color my hair!!)

I noticed today that I can't button my jeans. I know it is way to early to be showing, and that it is mostly bloating from the drugs. But I look more preggo than I actually am. I managed to lose 25 pounds before starting IVF this time, and bought some skinny jeans 2 sizes smaller than before. I had really hoped to wear them a little longer. But its ok. I tried wearing the jeans unbuttoned, and they were totally uncomfortable. Looks like I am going to need some new pants. But I will wait until I see your precious heart beating!! Then, shopping for something that you can grow into. :)

One more week my sweet pea, and I will begin to tell the world that you are coming join our family! <3

5w6d

What in the world did our mothers do without constant access to Dr. Google??? Sometimes it's a blessing. Most times, though, I suspect it's a curse for us. For instance, did you know that abnormally high levels of HCG can indicate a molar pregnancy? Those same high levels can also be a marker for Down's. Yes, thank you Dr. Google; I feel so much more reassured now knowing that it's not written in stone that I'm carrying multiples. Well, on the flip side, they can also indicate that it's a girl or boy. Yes, I know: step away from the computer.

HCG comes in such a wide range. At 3w HCG is between 5-50, at 4w it is between 5-426, and at 5w between 18-7340. Does this mean low HCGs are good? Well, according to my RE, so long as the HCG is doubling every 48-72 hours life is good. According to Dr. Google low HCGs can be a sign of a non-viable pregnancy. I choose to believe my RE!! He is afterall a real life person.

I am trying to back away from Dr. Google (which is extreemly hard) and back away from my IF forum. I am getting so much information, and it is hard to know what is true and what isn't. Basically it all boils down to we are all different. What works for you, may not work for me. Because you had a low HCG and then m/c, doesn't mean that because I have a low HCG that I will m/c. I really need the support, but the stress of all the "what-ifs" and MrsX is talking about her m/c. Is too much for me.

My u/s is next Thursday. Only 9 days to go! I will stay off of Dr. Google!!! I will back off the IF forum. I will be happy and pray to see a little heart beating!

~~Thank you God for the opportunity to carry this blessed child. Please watch over him/her as they continue to grow.~~

Happy day

Yesterday I had my 3rd Beta. My number was 250. Which is a doubling time of 34 hours!! YEAH!! I am so happy!

But I am so scared, there are so many things that can still happen. UGH!! I think once I get my ultrasound on June 2nd, and see that little heart beating, I will feel much better. Right now, I am worried that now that the embryo has implanted, it isn't going to grow. Or there won't be a heartbeat.

Maybe I am too hormonal, and need to stop thinking. LOL

I was going to tell my mom, but I think I have decided to wait until the ultrasound. I just don't want to have to explain if something goes wrong. It is so much harder when people ask questions. So for now, the girls I work with, my husband, and my best friends know. That is 8 people, probably too many already.

~ Please God, watch over my little one as (s)he begins to grow. ~

Hanging in there

I didn't realize how long it has been since I posted. So to catch you up...
On May 3rd, I decided to transfer 3 grade A embryos. I know there was always a chance for mulitples. But I was willing to risk that. And I'm glad I did, because of the 11 remaining embryos, we only had 8 left to freeze. But RE was concerned because they weren't growing properly, he wanted to hold them until day 6 before freeze. Well, on day 6 he called to tell me that none of them made it overnight. I had no embryos to freeze. I was so sad. And because of that, I figured this pregnancy wasn't going to work. But I continued to hope, pray, meditate, do my accupuncture and cross my fingers.
My transfer went well. 3 grade A embryos. My big hope!! The RE and Lab were running a little behind. Which I was ok with (because I had Valium). But then we got into the room, and they started pushing the sonogram wand onto my abdomen (with a full bladder). I was crying because I was so worried about peeing ont he table. Funny to think of now. Anyways, I went home, rested, and stayed in bed mostly for 3 days.
My blood test was on Friday the 13th. The RE offered to change it to the 12 if I was superstitious, but I said no. It is my lucky day. So I went in for my Friday the 13th Beta and then went to work. Not really excited, because I figured it wouldn't be positive. RE called me at about 1pm, and dang it if he didn't say I was pregnant!! My beta was low, 31.5, but pregnant none the less.
The key is to double the beta every 48-72 hours.
My second blood test was today, 47 hours later. And my beta was still low, 58. Thats a doubling time of 51 hours. Still within range. Dr. said that was a good rise. But I need a third beta on Wednesday. PLEASE double!!!
I'm not really sure what I feel. I know I am exhausted. I know I pee alot. Sometimes my stomach feels weird. But I also have been spotting a little too. No more cramping, that makes me feel better. And the heartburn comes and goes. I am still bloated. But for now, and optimistically for the next 8 months, I am pregnant. Due January 18th, 2012. Fantastic!!

7 years of hard work! Please baby come and meet your mommy, daddy and big brother!!

Its the day

You can't imagine how I am feeling right now. I don't know if I can explain how I'm feeling right now. But I know this, I am happy, I am blessed, I am ready.

Today is my ET. As of yesterday, of my 14 embryos, all 14 continue to divide and grow. There are 6 grade A, 3 grade B, and 5 grade C. I feel so happy about this. Last time we only had 14 eggs to start with. By ET day there were 5.

My RE wants to put in 2 embies, I can't decide if I want the 3rd one in there or not. I think I may want 2 A's and 1 C. It will run the risk of triplets though. Will I be able to handle that? But I also feel that it could give me a better chance at getting twins. Crazy world has got me all confused.

So I have finished my oatmeal, I am going off to the accupuncturist, and then back home for my Valium and to begin filling my bladder. (oh fun) My appointment is at noon.

~God please watch over my embies as they are placed in the womb. Help them grow and thrive. And please give Dr. Wit a steady hand to place my babies back with me.~

~Happy Dance~

So yesterday was my ER. I was perfectly fine with going because I've done it before. Traci was keeping T for a sleepover, Grace was planning on picking me up. Everything was planned out. I went in confident. When the nurse asked me if I brought my Percoset, I told her I never received any. Right away she started to panic that I didn't have my painkillers for Post-Op. I started getting nervous. She told me to get someone to the pharmacy asap. But I didn't have anyone there with me. What was I supposed to do?
In the meantime, the anesthesiologist came in, and was getting me ready to go in. They brought in the previous girl to recover from her ER, and she was crying and moaning. Sounded like she was in extreem pain. Now I was nervous!! I was going to need those drugs. I suddenly got scared.
Turns out the Dr (whom I absolutely love) pulled some strings, and was able to get it for me. Thank you Dr W. But I was nervous!

As I was getting ready to leave post-op, Dr W came in and told me that they got 29 eggs!! HOLY COW!! Really? And they were all from my right ovary. Left ovary didn't perform this time (Last time we only got 14 eggs from both ovaries) I was so happy!!

Today, I got my call from RE. Of the 29 eggs, 23 were mature and fertilized. Of those 23, 14 are now my embabies!! 14!! I am so happy! I am so excited! I can hardly sit still!

RE will call me on Sunday with an update on my embabies. My transfer should be on Tuesday!

~ God please be with my embabies as they continue to grow and divide! Please bring them home for me to care for. Please care for the souls created with love. ~

So, as it goes, things have been pretty smooth so far. But I am waiting for a bomb to drop. Nothing is this easy. So, of course I am thinking the worse...My ovaries aren't producing...

I have been taking my shots like a big girl. Really they haven't been bad. These are the easy ones. And I don't feel overly hormonal, only slightly bloated at my ovaries. My bloodwork seems to be good so far, and the ultrasounds have showed my follicles are growing. I have another ultrasound tomorrow, and then hopefully they will tell me to trigger on Sunday!! I am so excited.

I have the support of my co-workers and a few close friends. I have been a little more open about it this time. Though, I haven't told Rob yet. I want to wait until I have my Beta. I see no need to worry him while he is away. I would rather excite him with a positive test.

I am so positive this time. I have started accupuncture, and feel that has not only helped me reduce stress, but also is preparing my womb to house an embryo for 9 months. I have lost 25 pounds, quit drinking coffee, soda and alcohol. Aand have relieved myself of all the negative in my life.

I am ready! Go TEAM!!

So cross your fingers, and pray that a bomb doesn't drop!!

Back in the saddle!!

I am officially on the calendar to begin again!! My estimated ER date is the 3rd week of April. If all goes according to the calendar (which it usually doesn't), my 1st BETA will be on May 11 (my moms birthday).
I can hardly believe that I am getting a chance to try again. I am so excited.
Rob is still deployed, so I will be going at it alone. I'm sure Rob is happy about missing mood swings, and having to help with shots. ha ha ha I don't mind the shots, its a small price to pay.

Once I talk to the clinic tomorrow, I will have a better idea of what to expect! Just wanted to share that we are starting again!

<3

On the road again...

Yesterday was my first day back on the road again. I am so excited to begin again!!

I had my blood drawn for another round of IVF. I also have my first saline sonogram on February 28th. We will be begin another round hopefully in April. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we get lucky!