8w4d

So, I gave up the infertility forum. I had to. I was getting too worked up and stressed about a bunch of things that may or may not happen. I was reading everything, and then focusing that feeling or thought on me and my baby. Plus reading about all the sad things that happen, made me sad.

I am now on my own. I share with my closest friends. I get the support I need from my closest friends. I get all the love and advice I need. I still get worried, and scared. But I'm not reading as much into things. I am trying to enjoy all of the (great and not-so-great) pregnancy moments I can.

I have recently been feeling so many crazy things. It is like riding the pregnancy roller coaster. I mean, how can a person feel so sick one day, so tired that I can't focus (and want to cry about it) the next, and then perfectly normal the following day?? Is that even possible?? I thought if you had symptoms, that they were there to stay. I didn't know it was a daily grab bag of symptoms. And most recently the heartburn has started. I am perfectly content with all of these things. It means my baby is growing. And I am so happy.

Last week, was my first run in with morning sickness. I was dropping T off at school, and while I was in the office signing in, my world started spinning. I wasn't 100% positive that I was going to throw up, but started heading towards the bathroom, just in case. I was moving people out of my way to get there. The ladies in the office were asking the other mom I was with...Is she ok? Whats wrong? Whats happening?? The other mom, Tx, knows that I am pregnant. She just laughed and said "Nothing". For the next hour, Tx and I were meeting, and I kept getting up to throw up. And every time I did, she laughed. Which of course made me laugh. It was pretty funny because I didn't experience this with T. Since then, I have had moments of almost throwing up. But nothing.

Tonight, I got home from my meeting, and noticed a tiny bit of pink on the paper after I went to the bathroom. Immediately I got nervous. I am going to call my RE tomorrow morning just to make sure everything is ok. My 2nd u/s is on Thursday, only 3 days away. I don't know if I feel comfortable waiting. I think I need to come in sooner. The pink could be from the suppository irritating my cervix, or it could be just a touch of NOTHING!! Whatever, I will feel better if I call.

~Please God keep my baby safe.