7w0d

I am an emotional basket case...You can probably call me Sybil.
I am feeling every emotion available to man right now...

So, today I am 7w0d. So far I have been feeling pretty good. Tired is the most pronounced symptom of this pregnancy. Most of the other symptoms come and go, but nothing major. I have been taking care of myself. Doing my accupuncture still, and trying to be positive. I am good.

But...In exactly 15 1/2 hours, I will be sitting on the RE's table. While he is warming up his machines, preparing to look for a tiny heartbeat!!

I am so nervous, I keep asking what if...What if there is no heartbeat...what if there is no viable pregnancy...what if this has all been a figment of my imagination, and there is no baby? I am scared, and terrified. Worried. Nervous. I already know I will be crying when I get there. Thats how nervous I am.

But I am also excited to see that sweet little heart beating. The thought of that is so exciting, and joyous to me. And I pray that God gives me the opportunity to be so blessed.

I have been putting up my walls. I have put on my strong face that everyone is so proud of. But inside I am crumbling. I am weak and vulnerable. And with Rob gone, I don't have my rock, my strength. He knows how to calm me. I miss him and wish he could come with me. Hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be ok. Kiss me and see our baby for the first time. And then laugh and tell me how silly I am to be this worried!!!!

I know that everything happens for a reason. And I know that God will get me through.

~This life you have given us is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,
safe in the womb of flesh and hope, yet subject to danger and death.

O God of love, creator of life,hear our prayer.
We want this baby so much.

Please grant this child of ours a full term of nurture,
the joy and mystery of life,
and the blessing of your love.

Grant us the fulfillment of our dreams,
a baby to cherish and protect,
a child to teach and guide,
a blessing to our family.

Amen. ~