10w3d

What an amazing moment in my life...

I am so excited to have made it to this point! My pregnancy has been good so far. I am extremely tired, sometimes nauseous, and from time to time achey. I am happy. Every moment of discomfort is worth my sweet pea!! I am 10 1/2 weeks, in a week and a half I will officially be in my second trimester. I know I will feel like a weight has been lifted.

A few people have questioned others about me. But no one has asked me directly if I'm pregnant. I am not hiding it, but I am not putting it out there either. I am waiting for my second trimester. Soon!!!! A girl I'm close to told me on Friday that I'm not going to be able to hide my belly much longer. Isn't that funny!! I love it!

Of course nothing is perfect. I am 100% nervous. Scared to death that something will still go wrong. Am I perfectly normal, overly cautious, or just a nut?? I have officially been released to an OB, and I am scared. Because I won't have that constant source of confirmation for my feelings. I have been considering buying a fetal doppler. Just so I can hear my sweet pea when I need that confirmation. Maybe this makes me crazy, or neurotic, I'm not sure. I think it makes me nervous and normal. The sound of that sweet little heart beating brings me such pleasure and peace.

I wasn't feeling this crazed until last night. Of course I've had my nervous moments, but until last night, it wasn't constant. I had dinner with friends, and broke the news to my girlfriend who lost her baby last month at 32 weeks. I wasn't sure how she would handle it, but she seemed fine. She was so happy, and excited. But later in the evening after many drinks (none for me), she kept on with how everything was her fault, and how everything can go wrong. I know her emotions weren't aimed for me, because she was so excited. But everything she said kept making me think of how my baby could just die. Everything single thing I do, I keep in mind how it could affect the baby. I am cautious!!

I feel great today. I love life. I love my son. I love my husband. I love my baby. God please watch over all!