I really thought...

That I was dealing with my loss. But last night I was just so sad. I must have cried a river. My heart hurt. And when I woke up this morning, I was still sad. It has been so hard for me to get out of bed, take a shower, drop T off at school, and go to work. I feel like I am just going through the motions. How do I make this better?
I realized today too that I haven't really eaten much in the past week. I know I have eaten, but I don't think it's been much. And my stomach doesn't seem to notice. Can grief take away the feeling of hunger?
The loss of hunger I guess could be good. Maybe I can lose a few pounds. The pounds I've put on with the fertility drugs. HMMMM....

I had to call the RE's office this morning, because I got a recording on Saturday not to forget my 9am appointment today. 9am appointment...ugh...thanks for reminding me. Today was supposed to be my first ultrasound. I was going to get to see my little angel. Thanks for the little slap in the face. I had to call the office to cancel the appointment..."Hi, this is Kim, I have an ultrasound scheduled for 9am, but I had a miscarriage, can you cancel my appointment please" CRY CRY CRY

I am trying so hard to get it together. I actually got out of the car today when I dropped T off. I smiled when I said good morning. I greeted my friends when they said hello. But on the inside I was sad and crying.

I have been so clingy and needy. But with Rob gone, I feel like I am so alone, with no strength to hold onto. He is my rock. He is my strength. God how I love him!! Thank you for bringing him back to me.