Friends...

I have come to realize that anyone who hasn't had a miscarriage really has no idea what to say...
When I had my miscarriage, I couldn't talk. (I couldn't even get the words out to my DH) It hurt so much that I couldn't breathe. A part of my soul had died. All I wanted to do was cry.
It is now about a week since my miscarriage, and I am still crying. I am still sad. But I am going through the motions of moving forward. But I am starting to talk about it. No matter how much it hurts, I think it helps to talk.

I hadn't told many people about our FET because it is already a stressful time. And, I didn't want people always asking...Did it work? Are you pregnant yet? UGH! Talk about pressure. I did confide in a few close people. My sister being one, and a couple of friends.

My sister is fertile. My BIL walks by too fast and she is knocked up. Over the years as we have gotten older, my sister has become one of my best friends. I know I can confide in her, and she will keep it to herself. When she called to see how I was feeling, I told her I had lost the baby. I was in tears. And she said "I'm sorry. I'll call you in a few days." That hurt. Obviously she didn't know what to say. And really I didn't want her to say anything. Just be there. Say she's sorry, listen to me talk.
A close friend I work with said "I'm sorry. But you can always adopt. Or maybe you can try again. You know, it is when you stop trying that it will happen". (In my case it is physically impossible)
A close friend asked me how I was doing, and I couldn't even answer, I was just crying. Right away, she said "I'm so sorry. I have been praying for you. Are you ok? Do you want to talk? Do you need anything?" She just listened.

These are just a couple of examples. Either people just leave you alone because they don't know what to say. (Hey, I'm not contagious!) Or they truly feel your pain and stand by you.

When you say the word "miscarriage" the looks on peoples faces is extreme. Either they are scared of it, or they cry because of it.

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I was picking T up from school yesterday when another mom, whom I've become pretty close to, asked me if I was ok. Of course I said things were fine. (Put on your happy face) She sent me a text last night and said "I'm concerned about you. You seem down, can I help with anything? If you need someone to talk to, remember I am here" Such kind words. These are the friends that make me who I am. I told her that we found out we were pregnant after 6 years. But that I miscarried last week. Her heart was broken. We chatted for awhile, and then she remined me that she is always around when I need her. She has a heart of gold.

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I am so happy to have the friends that I have. They help me become the person I am.