Bitterness

I keep thinking that I am bitter. But the more I think about it, the more I am thinking that it is so much more than that. It is a combination of things; anger, sadness, confusion to name a few.

Not sure what made me think about this today. Maybe the fact that my ex-boss is an ass. My ex-boss had the audacity to call and ask how to do something. Seriously? You laid us off without notice, and then a week later you want help? Yeah, I don't think so.

Well, I think I am going to put this behind me today, he is not worth it.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my RE to go over what happened. So, I get to ask questions. But I'm not sure what I want to know. At this point, I just want to know what happened. Why did my baby die? I know they won't have the exact answers, but I still want to know. Maybe it will help me have closure.

I am still fragile. I still hurt, and several people have mentioned that they can see something in my face. I just keep giving my token answer, "just busy". Guess putting on my strong happy face hasn't been perfect. Maybe I will feel differently tomorrow. I'll let you know.