Never before have I felt so broken.
I literally feel like my heart had been ripped apart. Tonight on a hunch (call it intuition), I looked in my DH's messages and found a rather racy message. In reading the complete thread I learned that they have been having cyber-sex (is that a thing?) through messages and Skype. While I sleep in another room.
Is this really happening to me?
I told him when he got home from work that I did something and needed to tell him. So I told him that I looked through it and showed him what I found. He just stared at it for so long, not even saying a word. Finally he just says "I'm sorry".
I'm angry and hurt and he's sorry? We will be married 10 yrs in October and I have been thinking of us renewing our vows, I picked out a dress, found a place and looked at rooms. And now I don't know if I even want to be married! At all!
Have I said that in angry? He says nothing, which only makes it worse. Oh except that he doesnt see us apart in the future. I told him he needs help and that will be a beginning, but I don't trust him or even like him right now. And I don't know what's I am.
I have never been so hurt. I prayed tonight that God help me survive and make the right choices. Is not that I don't love my DH, but don't I need to respect myself?